pc catchall for dick.

[successives]

[shitpost incoming.]

Comments

[unpredicktable]

You're thinking too small. Carrots. Now we'll finally know why they're so good for vision. It's because they're aliens. Obviously.

[successives]

Ooh, good choice. The ends are pointy and everything.

[unpredicktable]

They're the best for stabbing.

[successives]

This movie loses ten points if nobody gets stabbed by a vegetable. Anyways, pop it in.

[unpredicktable]

[ and he does!! sitting back next to her without touching because emotion week is a mistake ]

Going by the cover, I think they might eat people, which is ironic, at least?

[successives]

So these are, like, genetically modified tomatoes with mouths...?

[unpredicktable]

Do your tomatoes not spontaneously grow mouths and the ability to think?

[ shock! ]

[successives]

Damn. Get on that, my version of Earth. You're falling behind.

[unpredicktable]

[ lmao ]

What's the point of boring, non-murderous vegetables?

[successives]

Right? You have to spice things up somehow.

[unpredicktable]

These vegetables come with their own added spices: bloodlust.

[successives]

Gently sprinkled, like salt.

[unpredicktable]

Oh no, we accidentally dropped the whole vat of bloodlust on the tomatoes! What happens next will shock you.

[successives]

Well, I guess we're about to find out.

[i discovered someone uploaded this entire movie to youtube so i'm ready]

[unpredicktable]

[ i've actually never seen it so that's beautiful eli ]

For better or for worse.

[ presses ... play ]

[successives]

[After literally thirty seconds:]

Wow. This is already awful.

[unpredicktable]

And wrong. I'm definitely laughing now.

[ what does this have to do with TOMATOES ]

[successives]

Just wait, Dick. Wait for the upcoming salad revolution.

[unpredicktable]

The real reason Brutus killed Caesar. He saw it coming.

[ booooo ]

[successives]

[She turns away from the screen to give him the most withering glare she can manage.]

[unpredicktable]

[ he is just beaming ]

[successives]

You are, quite literally, the worst.

[unpredicktable]

Thanks, I try.

[successives]

[She's about to say something else, but she's distracted by the horrendous noise this killer tomato is making. After a shocked laugh:]

Oh my god.

[unpredicktable]

Now that's scary.

[ he says, smothering a laugh again ]