pc catchall for lili.

[successives]

[shitpost incoming.]

Comments

[successives]

I... made it pretty obvious. If he wanted to do something, he could.

[They are so bad at communication.]

[coastal]

[she tilts her head]

When? Last minute kind of obvious? Or...

[successives]

...Right before I did something really stupid, and he hasn't said anything about it since then. So - he probably isn't interested anymore.

[closes my eyes]

[coastal]

[she blinks]

... can I ask what it was?

[successives]

[mmmmm]

...You can ask, but it's not really something I want to talk about.

[coastal]

[ . . . ]

I can tell you something stupid I did in exchange, so you're not the only one feeling dumb?

[successives]

I am incredibly sure they're on wildly different levels.

[coastal]

[a pause and - ]

I doubt it.

I've... done some really stupid things.

[successives]

[...]

I still feel like I'm going to regret this.

[But, there's her go ahead, if only because it makes it seem like a bigger deal if she absolutely refuses to talk about it.]

[coastal]

I'll try to make it so you won't.

[and she means that sincerely]

So... what stupid thing did you do?

[successives]

[...]

...I knew somebody was coming to kill me and I didn't tell him.

[That's leaving out a huge part of the story, but it gets the point across, probably.]

[coastal]

[ . . . oh. she's surprised at that, blinking]

... why not?

[successives]

[Muttered:]

Because I'm an idiot.

[coastal]

[she looks at her and frowns]

You aren't. Don't say that.

[successives]

...Okay, but now I feel kind of bad about ten seconds ago when you said you've done a lot of stupid things and I didn't correct you...

[coastal]

[she tries not to laugh]

It's fine. I know they were stupid. I... don't think things through well.

[ . . . ]

One time, I was in a completely safe situation, but I got tricked so badly trying to chase after information that it landed both me and my dearest friend into a slave camp in the desert where they only served us drugged water.

[successives]

[Likewise, she looks surprised at that, hesitating before asking:]

I'm guessing the 'one time' thing means that you got away...?

[coastal]

... it required an entire army to save us. So I still wouldn't have been able to survive with my own power.

[so she thinks she can still confidently say it's... stupid.]

Were... you worried he'd try to save you, if he knew something was going to happen to you?

[successives]

Well - it's, um, good you were okay.

[She doesn't quite know what else to say about it, but that much in sincere.]

...He would have. I didn't want him to get hurt, but I'm pretty sure it hurt him worse in the end. So I can't really blame him if things are different now.

[coastal]

... thanks. [she says that briefly, before considering her next statement.]

I get that too. Why you did it, I mean.

[ . . . ]

So if I can understand, and I've only known you three days, I think there's a chance that he'd understand too if he was really considerate of your feelings. I can't say whether it was the right thing to do but...

Do you have anything to lose in revisiting the subject?

[successives]

Uh, yeah. I mean...

[She waves a hand.]

Like I said, he already knows. So if he doesn't do anything about it, that means he doesn't want to. I don't really want to make him uncomfortable by bringing it up again. He's - important to me even if it's just friendship.

[coastal]

[she pauses for a little bit before sighing]

I said that before too since... Ookurikara was like that - for a while. I had to wait around for weeks, thinking that he wasn't interested in me. I think it's only because he was forced into considering it more that we're even where we are now.

So - I don't know. Maybe he can benefit from a nudge here and there.

Boys are pretty dumb.

[successives]

Sure, but it's not like I haven't already nudged.

[Sometimes you make out with someone, then everything blows up around you and there are 1092384 more important things to deal with, and then you show up in a brand new mess.]

[coastal]

Maybe you can go on a... oh, a date?

[she didn't know the word]

[successives]

—I can't just ask him that.

[she is so stupid, lili]