pc catchall for wei wuxian.

[successives]

[SCREAMS]

Comments

[givethemhell]

[HIS CRANE!! He just laughs when the door swings open again though, and plucks it up off of the floor before springing to his feet, too.]

What, do you not like it? Do you like other animals more? I could try my hand at something else! A cat, maybe? Or a flower?

[successives]

Don't make another one, I'm not going to keep it.

[She doesn't want his friendship tokens!! Anyways, she's coming in.]

What part were you cleaning?

[givethemhell]

[He flips it between his fingers and then holds it out toward her anyway!!]

Are you sure you don't want one? I'll just throw it out, otherwise. [It is just a wrapper, after all.

But he'll scoot over and point toward the bottom shelf where all the dry goods are! He's like, organized beans and rice and stuff in stacks.]

This part, mostly! Just counting what we have, sticking it all together, cleaning up any stray beans, you know.

[successives]

You can give it to someone else if you don't want to throw it out.

[She comes over to look at the pantry, though, bending down. It's not that she wants to help, she's just making sure he didn't do it wrong!!]

[givethemhell]

It's fine, I don't mind getting rid of it.

[He'll just shove it back into his shirt for now though, since he ain't getting up to find a trashcan just yet.

He also glances up and over toward her and her INSPECTION.]

—Looking to see if I've stolen any beans?

[why]

[successives]

Definitely. Who knows what bean thievery you could have gotten up to on your own?

[It's so sarcastic.]

[givethemhell]

Exactly so! You've already interrupted my meticulous and well-thought-out plan to cause our bean supplies to slowly dwindle, driving everyone into a state of bean-deprived madness.

[He reaches out to fondly pat a sack of beans as he says this.]

[successives]

[Solemnly:]

I have no choice but to report this to the bean authorities.

[givethemhell]

[Dramatically GASPS, PLACING A HAND ON HIS CHEST.]

You can't turn me in already! I only just got here, I don't want to sit in the isolation cabin!

[successives]

It's too late. Your bean crimes end today.

[givethemhell]

I'm too young to go to bean crimes jail, though!

[HE'S ONE OF THE OLDEST PEOPLE HERE.]

[successives]

You're, like, three times as old as me.

[untrue]

[givethemhell]

I'm not that old! Do you think I'm a grandfather, ah?

[He looks away from the beans at last so he can STARE AT HER, SCANDALIZED.]

[successives]

[She takes this opportunity to scoot the beans away from his hand.]

You never know.

[what]

[givethemhell]

[WHY IS SHE TAKING HIS BEANS. Anyway he gives her a LOOK at that, excuse him.]

How many grandchildren do you think I'd have then, hm?

[successives]

I don't know, how many radish children do you have?

[Did she already memorize the profiles? Maybe so.]

[givethemhell]

[hi5 for lowkey immediately memorizing the profiles... SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA. He also HUFFS.]

He was not a radish, I just planted him in the dirt like one.

[Does. Does that answer anything at all.]

[successives]

My reasons to call the police just increased tenfold.

[givethemhell]

It's fine, it's fine! He had a wonderful time being a radish. Told him he'd sprout some brothers if he waited there long enough, haha.

[Ah, fatherhood.]

[successives]

[As she closes her eyes:]

Dude, what the fuck.

[givethemhell]

[DON'T JUDGE HIS PARENTING. Please judge his parenting, actually. He laughs, waving a hand.]

Haha, his aunt gave me quite the earful for that one!

[successives]

[A small huff.]

I think most people are of the general opinion that you shouldn't plant your children like radishes.

[givethemhell]

Aiya, but he was always playing in the dirt anyway! And whenever we start digging troughs for seedlings, he wanted to be right in the deepest pit. You should always encourage your children, even if they want to become one with the earth.

[He says this with a bright and teasing grin, though, and full of too much fondness. He loved A-yuan and he still thinks A-yuan is fuckin DEAD LIKE THE REST OF HIS LOVED ONES but it's fine we don't talk about our traumas here.]

[successives]

...It sounds nice.

[After a second:]

Not the part about putting him in the earth, that still sounds incredibly weird.

[givethemhell]

[He just grins at that, but lets it go. SOMETIMES YOU PLANT YOUR CHILD.]

The digging troughs for seedlings part? Playing in the dirt?

[They aren't cleaning at all at this point GOD. Helpfully, he rearranges some rice.]